Elizabeth Gaither

Elizabeth had 3 brothers and a younger sister.

Her oldest brother James lives in North Carolina and is an artist who sculptures large steel designs. Her next oldest brother John died many years ago. Her youngest brother Jim lives in Atlanta, and has his own project management company.

Stephanie lived in Nashua, NH, until her death a few years ago. At the time of her death she was the office manager for a large construction and contracting company.

Life as an army brat has its "good" side and "bad" side. The good side is they saw a lot of the world, learned etiquette skills because of the army socials, and because they moved so often, they had to learn how to make friends quickly. The bad side was that also had to learn how to wean away these friends when they knew the family would be moving onto their father's next assignment.

Her parents met during WWII. He was drafted into the army, and she enlisted in the Navy WAVEs. Her mother came from Michigan - Saginaw to be exact. While I'm not positive, I think that her family owned a motel or resort near the lake. Liz was one of 5 children, and seeking adventure in the NAVY seemed more exciting than staying in Saginaw.

The Gaither clan can trace their lineage back to pre-colonial days. Almost all Gaithers in the USA can claim a common ancestor that had an estate near Baltimore, MD. The Gaither name can be seen a number of times in history, particularly history of the north eastern US.

Elizabeth Lee Gaither (Smith)

Many of you have noticed that our web activity has been very little this year, and it was because my focus was on Elizabeth's health. In January, she was diagnosed with cancer; and eventually passed away from this disease on July 10th. People ask me how she handled herself during this time, and I tell them that she was a role model. Doctors, nurses, and her friends were impressed and uplifted by how she responded to her medical situation. She kept positive, which ultimately made many of us feel positive about her long-term prognosis.

Various poses of Elizabeth. Her brother Joe Gaither appears with her on bottom photos.

Elizabeth's Early Years

Elizabeth's history begins in St. Louis, Missouri. It was here that she was born to James and Elizabeth (Adams) Gaither. Her father worked in the printing company that his father started in East St. Louis, but he soon grew disinterested in this business. He reinlisted in the army, where he made his career and eventually reached the rank of Lt. Colonel.

Elizabeth, along with her three brothers, traveled the globe - living in a number of countries during her school age years. Countries, in addition to the United States, where she lived included Japan, Italy, and Germany. It was in Italy where she lived almost 2 years. The family lived in a large villa in Verona, and Elizabeth often talked of their home life in north central Italy. She talked fondly of the friends she made, the trips they would take to nearby cities like Venice, and how the children were schooled at the American army base.

 

Life After the Military

After her father's retirement from military life, the family made their way to New York State. It was here that they lived on a farm south of Utica...and it was suprisingly very rural. Elizabeth talked about her life on the farm, and how the family made their living by raising farm animals and vegetables. One of her favorite farm animals were the goats - I think one of them may have been a favorite pet of hers.

In a few years, Elizabeth grew tired of living on the farm. Even though she found employment in the local school as a librarian, she wanted to see more of the world (Her brother Joe told me that Elizabeth told him to call her "Ms. Gaither" when she came into the library...but Joe kept calling her sis or Liz). Her original plans were to attend a college in Utica, but instead made her way to Syracuse, New York. In the next few years of her life in Syracuse, she held various jobs and attended the University of Syracuse. Eventually, she found full-time employment in Accounts Payables, or accounting, at The Hotel Syracuse.

Elizabeth with her family - mother Liz, father Jim, younger sister Stephanie.

Adulthood

Elizabeth made many friends during her 20 years in Syracuse. She was active in the community, and was especially active in the Uptown Downtowners civic organization. This organization was made up of young adults who helped put together community events, programs, concerts, etc. on behalf of the business community of Syracuse. It was here that met many of the friends who would become true lifetime acquaintences.

It was in Syracuse where she would begin her career with AT&T. She began her career in sales, and would eventually be promoted to positions in strategic pricing and product management. While in Syracuse, she and her friends went to a "fortune teller", and when it was her turn, she asked a question, "where will I find my true love?" The fortune teller told her that it would be "near water", but not in water near Syracuse.

By 1997, Elizabeth had found her way to New Jersey, and had found a place to live in Dunellen, NJ. Several years later, some of her friends asked her to play softball, and rather than be a player, she agreed to come to the games and keep score. It was here that she met, as she would say, the "love of her life", and surprisingly it wasn't really near water, but on a softball field in "Bridgewater", New Jersey.

Married Life

Elizabeth and I were married on April 1st, 2003. She chose the 1st because she knew I wouldn't forget the date of our marriage (April Fools Day). Over the next 9 years, she grew very close with her step children, Michael and Kate; and her nephew Patrick Heitkamp also became another permanent member of our family. He came to live with us in his Sophomore year, and he eventually came to see Elizabeth as his second mother. In addition to loving her nephew dearly, she provided him the structure needed to grow into a fine young man.

She also loved her South Dakota "brothers and sisters", which she inherited through marriage. She was impressed with how close the sisters were with each other. While every family is different, she thought it was wonderful that the siblings enjoyed each other's company...and how they could spend hours talking with each other about even the littlest of things. We had been talking about where to eventually retire...New Orleans .. .Florida ... Carolinas ... Denver ... Finally, we decided that we would retire in Rapid City. I think she could see herself spending time with the sisters, and maybe even taking trips with them. She was also looking forward to grandchildren, and she was especially proud of Kate, Mike, and Pat's successes. And while their initial relationships were "rocky" in the early years (new step-mom for all three), they all grew to love each other very deeply. She was also very proud of her nephew Pat's future goals, especially recent goals of becoming an aviation pilot in the Marines Corp. She looked forward to his graduation from Quantico Officer Training program, and subsequently his graduation from Philadelphia University in 2014.

But she would not be able to see what everyone would eventually accomplish.

As her husband, I saw her as a loving and caring person. She always thought about other's welfare first - the nurses would tell me that she "needed to get back home to make sure I had proper meals". She would help others who were ill, in some cases people with cancer themselves. She would cook them meals (I can't tell you how many dinners she prepared over the years, but it was a lot), or motivate friends to send get well cards to people with life threatening diseases (get well card campaigns), run errands for people who could not get to the store themselves, and so on. This was a part of Elizabeth's life that many knew nothing about - she was a very gentle and humble person, and never looked for recognition for the good deeds she performed almost daily.

This is how I remember Elizabeth, and will miss her greatly.

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